Telephone conversation with my unborn child

 

 part 2

 Telephone rings...grin grin,griiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

me: yeah,hello

Child: sup’ dada

Me:  aw many tyms hav i told u not to greet me lyk a gangstar?

Child: sowii pops,ok wagwan?

Me: i jus wish u were here,wuld’ve spanked u,now now.

Child: hehehehehe na u dey delay na.

Me: i blame u?no be ur fault.i av bin hussln up n down so dat  u wnt suffer wen u get there n all u do is to disrespect me .

Child: sowii pops,but u takin 2 long,ur fwend uncle fizzle n uncle bode both has pwetty gals i’ll luv to grow up wit!

Me: c between me n u,  both didn’t plan to have kids this early,walahi

Child: wat of uncle wole?he’s expecting a baby girl soon.abi hin sef no plan am

Me: ok,let me tell u dis,uncle Wole,Unle Bode and Uncle Flo are all older than me  twas bcos im brilliant dats why im rolln wiv them,i met them all in this world,besides  na soso girls girls dem born na,ur dada is a strong man.

Child:wat of uncle Olumide?he’s boy is cute na

Me: he is older than me lyk 4 yrs na besides na akata be hin wyf na

Child: wat of daddy Gbolahan?he has a son na

Me: who is dat?

Child:uncle bj na,d one dat stammers na.

Me :oh,dat one,em em  na long throat na but u wnt understand,c  unle yemi Akran is there  still searchn  sinz, uncle K fagbenro  hmn leave dat 1 matter,uncle mausi....well guess he’s always busy ,uncle shola bejide,  though he has a 10yr relationship he’s so still single.u want more???????pepsi,and uncle Skuri  are still rockn d town....even anty Lami sef though she’s married sha.u want me 2 name more?

Child: no no....dats enuf, anywaz,  u decided about our mother yet??

Me: hmnnn......not really but i gat moi eyz on sum1 n u knw women she’s still forming, want 2 get u beautiful mum n me pretty wyf..winks

Child: na dat anty 4 festac abi? No be next month,febuary be her birthday?

Me: maybe....u”ll knw soon and yes her birthday iz coming up soon.

Child: anybody but anty Funke  is kool,sha be  fast.

Me: yes boss, Ahmed says hi

Child: which uncle Ahmed?Skuri or that  that ur bald cousin 4 ikorodu?

Child: whatever sha,we cant wait to hook up wit’u

Me: ehn,  u and who????

Child: me n my sisters,we are triplets,2girls and a boy.

Me: oh no.......i go die o!!!!

Child:  hello, helloooooo,dadddddddddddddddddddddy

I terminate the call,switch off my phone and starts thinking.