WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?

                                                                                         

Nigerians have attached so much to status that most of us tend to live a fake life, live on credit and claim to be what we are not, so as to be accepted into our choice societal caucus.

The type, model and year of manufacture of the car you drive matters a lot especially in an environment  like  Nigeria where every personal effect from toothbrush ,shoes, your house and even the environment  you stay is a status symbol.

There are different status level attached to different cars, hence the mad rush to acquire an automobile to feel among. Gone are the days when cars are bought according to the depth of the pocket. Cars are bought now to impress, to feel among. Funny thing is  ethnicity influences the kind of car purchased,while the Hausa men likes Honda Accord the Igbo men prefer  any Mercedes Benz so far it has a single wiper and not two.

The cars you drive determine the kind of people you attract. I have had several experiences while cruising around Lagos in my 1984 Honda accord wagon that my friends nicknamed “ambulance”.Mind you,the environment you find yourself at times matters the level of importance attached to your car.

For instance I can pose with my automobile while driving around Ajegunle, Iyanaiworo, EbutteEro, Badagry, Okoko and like metropolis but I become a nobody  when I find myself with the same car in VGC,Ikoyi,Parkview and Lekki axis. who born monkey?

Now talking about the kind of people you attract with the brand of car you use,lets break that into 3 categories.

First on the list are the Ladies (Naija babes)that has no car,not even a single tire but  will rather develop sun stroke or get soaked by the rain than hitch a ride in a weather beaten Honda.

You see,I am talking from my bitter experience,you feel like helping a beautiful sister standing under the hot sun by the road side and all you get is an insult. I stopped to offer a ride to a petite but beautiful looking girl around Unilag back gate and the following conversation took place:

Me: hi,where are you heading under this scorching sun?

Lady: how is that your business?

Me: just thought I should give you a lift if you are heading my way.

Lady: what makes you think I would enter this  ’thing’ you call a car? Ac sefyour car no get,abegwakafaaaaaaaar.psheew.

Can you imagine that? Plenty insult just because I wanted to be a good Nigerian.

Second on my list are the beggars and street hawkers,who said a begger has no choice? Not the ones on Victoria island or lekki roadthough.I was cruising my car as usual on Victoria Island and the traffic light just before AjoseAdeogun roundabout stopped me,I noticed a beggar begging the driver of the range rover sport in front of me,the occupants ignored him and he moved towards me,I frantically searched for change to give him but Lo and behold the beggar walked past me to the next car which was a BMW 6 series, I beckoned on him to come take the little I have to offer but the dude just hissed and told me”oga you no get the kind money wey I deyfind,use your sssN20 buy pure water,see as you dey sweat”.I was flabbergasted, embarrassed and dismayed.

The street hawkers decide which car they sell or advertise their wares to,often times my car only attract rat poison hawkers, pure water sellers and their likes,the ones that sell slimming equipment’s, car seat covers and even assorted fruit hawkers don’t even bother to look at me twice,they prefer chasing and disturbing occupants of posh cars like Honda accord 2013,G wagon etc.

Lastly the commuters, this set  of people annoys me a lot, you will pity stranded commuters  on the road and give them a ride to their destination or at least get them close to their destination and the next thing is they ask you how or much is the fare, some might even appoint themselves as conductors and start collecting transport fare on your behalf, At times I will be driving on my own “jejely” and they will be flagging me down shouting taxi, taxi or various destination  do I look like a cab man or does my car resemble a kabukabu? It has become a daily occurrence with the ban on okada on lagos  highways.Cant they recognise taxi’s again? Seriously, I think I have to inscribe “this is not a cab or taxi” on my car abi wetin una think?